The blog has been quiet, and there’s many reasons for that. I have consciously not been sharing. There’s a bunch of posts in the queue that I may never publish, because I do not know if they are meant to be shared, concerning my opinions and thoughts. Those are never very popular anyways. If I write about depressing things or problems, those are my most popular posts, followed by my posts about my dogs. Opinion posts and happy posts about the kids aren’t very popular or well read. It is interesting to watch human nature unfold, and understand why the Daily Mirror is way more popular than the New York Times. PBS will always be beat by HBO. But I digress.
Another reason I’m quiet about Caleb is we don’t know what’s going on with him, medically. I will say, he’s not walking much anymore and we are currently appealing a rejection from the insurance company to run his entire genome in the search for answers. If you are the praying sort, pray that we prevail and get his genetics tested, and find something helpful. He won’t be having hip surgery anytime soon, as we have no idea if it would be helpful or not.
Joshua has been my inspiration and my best material since I started this blog, and he is reluctant for me that share about him anymore. He’s getting older, and he just wants to be a regular kid, and I respect that. However, he was willing for me to share this incident that just occurred while we were on vacation.
Did you notice that I just said we went on vacation? A touristy, luxury vacation. A cruise. Unheard of! Unprecedented! We did go on a honeymoon 25 years ago, but since then it’s been camp outs and road trips. Those are well and good, and affordable, and exhausting. This time, we went on a cruise. It was surprisingly affordable and the best vacation ever! There was something for everyone, they welcomed Caleb despite his disablilty, and the gluten-free thing was not an issue at all. They catered to our every need. If you have special dietary needs, I can’t more highly recommend Royal Caribbean for a vacation. We had a great time.
On one of the shore excursions, we went to Roatan, and we went snorkeling. We hung out on a beach, saw ocean creatures, and played with a monkey. Then, we puttered out to their gorgeous reef to snorkel. There were 10 people on the boat, and when we got to the reef, we donned our equipment, lined up, and popped over the edge of the boat to see the wonders below us. Joshua was #9 in line and I was right behind him. When his turn came, he had a panic attack. Now, panic is not unknown to us. He’s like this, he’s unpredictable, and normally in this situation we would retreat and try again another day. He did not jump in, and he tore off his mask, and the screaming and crying began. I am so glad it was me that was left with him, since I am the one that usually deals with this. So we sat down and I was able to tell him, “work the system.” That means, breathe like we’ve practiced, press your face with your hands, figure out the lie that you are believing right now. He yelled out,”I CAN’T! I CAN’T SWIM! I’LL DROWN! IT’S TOO DEEP!”. So I was able to say, “Great job! Honestly, that’s super impressive that you could find words for it that fast. ” So we sorted it through and figured out what was true. Here’s what’s true – He’s a great swimmer, he has a life jacket, all the others were safely out there enjoying themselves. He was back to snorts and sniffles and breathing again. He wasn’t shouting, and he was able to state out loud what was true. The two men who were working on the boat were amazing – they watched the whole episode, and when they saw he was calming down, they showed him how they could provide an extra float for him to lay on, and one of them offered to swim for him and pull the float so he would be safe. I could stay right with him too. He could stay in the boat if he wanted, but he could go see the fish and coral if he wanted, too. And, my heart bursts with pride to share this, he decided to see the fishes. He put all his equipment back on and he went tentatively back to the edge. Our helper went first, set up his special float, and we eased him off, and he was snorkeling. He’s very good at it, and he saw amazing things. It could have been a disaster, but he was brave and he was an over-comer. That part of his brain that panics was not the boss of him that day. He was the boss, and he saw the reef, and he returned to the ship with pride and exhaustion. It was a glorious trip, for many reasons.